so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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