Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
