I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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