Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
