I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
