Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
