dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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