so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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