you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
