dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
