I hate all girls vehemently.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
