She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
we have pet lesbian snakes
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
