dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
