stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
