Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
