i dont even know how to be here
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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