All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
