That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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