remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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