She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
