You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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