Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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