so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
