The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
