The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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