She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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