I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
