Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Your cock deserves a montage
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
