i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
