He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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