He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
