Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
