he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
time to smoke my breakfast
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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