U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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