ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
