The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
