I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
