areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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