and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You can't special order awesome
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize