Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
