pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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