i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
