STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
