Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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