i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
