If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
