that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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