Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
