The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
