i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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