Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
