So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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