I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
