Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Randomize
