Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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