i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
