Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
