nut hugger
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize