Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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