What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
