I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
