What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
